Hay out there!
I am a 30 (something) mother of 3 and have living in Spain now for 7 months, my kids are 9, 4 & 2, the two oldest are in school and not getting on to bad but I have noticed their behavior getting worse & worse. I put this down to them still settling in and you tend to forgive alot - after all its us parents thinking we know whats best for them - they will have more freedom, more opportunities, a better life style etc, etc.
My husband has long dreamed of moving abroad so here we are, we have property in the UK and are renting here - with a view to selling there & buying here when we find the right place, we have a fairly good grasp of the language, if the Spanish speak slowly enough and try to ‘fit in’ as much as possible, after all whats the point of moving to Spain and being British, we do try.
The thing is I have found myself thinking more & more about ‘home’ my family I left behind & my old life, it was good, when I bought up my daughters ever decreasing manners she went into a full blown account of how much she misses her old friends, Nanny & Grandad etc.
What do I do??
If I tell hubby I want to go back he will have lost his dream and will forever blame me for it - but thats just it, its his dream - not mine!
If I stay I risk myself & our kids hating it day after day - I know kids adjust and I am sure they will get used to it in time but how much time should that be?
Help what should I do for the best for the whole family?

home sick ..... will need to chat to you outher half and have a long chat , i will say it take time to get in to the new life out here up to you how you get your kids to tow the line . yes that miss there mates at home , but have not meet new ones here ? Nanny & Grandad get them on the pc so chat every now and then if have pc at home , web cam . Help what should I do for the best for the whole family?  need to have big meet with the kids after you chat with the hubby have asked any new uk friends that did the move ?

jurdy

pm me if need two chat

Awww, I feel for you.  I?ve been here on a full time basis now for 3 years and I know it can be hard.  I moved out here to be with my Spanish boyfriend so my situation?s slightly different.  However, my advice would be to speak to your husband.  You never know, he may feel the same.  Or if he doesn?t at least you will have got it off your chest as there?s nothing worse than feeling a bit homesick or worried without being able to tell anyone.  I?m sure your husband will understand and even if he?s not keen on moving back to the UK he may have some ideas about how to improve your situation.  And as Jurdy says, do Nanny and Grandad have a PC?  Skype is great for web cam chats, that way the kids will be able to see them.  Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.  Let us know how you get on! x

Thanks for all your kind words and advice, I have now talked to hubby & he says that all he wants is for the whole family to be happy - if that means going back then so be it! What a love ay?
Still have mixed feelings though and now I have talked to him I think we should give it more time after all we have signed up for another 6 months on the house!
Just hope we are doing right by the kids - left my 4 year old crying at school this morning because he doesn’t like it - breaks your heart.  They don’t understand him & he doesn’t understand them, I know, I know I may seem like another one of those stupid Brits who have come over not to great at the language, small kids don’t have a clue but he is only 4!  Maybe the grass isnt always greener, things are not to great in the UK but it is us who have taken them away from everything they know & love!

One thing Spain has given my opinion on life is that the problems in the UK are not only in the UK.

I guess one of the pressures that we have compared to older generations is that of freedom of movement and information.

My parents travelled, but no where near as much as I do and everytime they did, they were more than happy to return home afterwards.

I`ve always stated that moving from the UK due to govt, hoodies, crime etc is not a good reason to move. These factors are in all countries in various degrees.

Believing the TV programmes are 100% accurate also doesn`t help.

Its not for everybody and very few no retired Brits stay in Spain for more than a few years.

The one piece of advice is don`t expect Spain to be the same as the UK, its far behind most EU countries in terms of culture etc etc.

Do you know Santi you are right, nobody not the friends I have here nor any of the replys on this blog can give me a good enough reason to stay!  The only reason I here is because my husband is.
I read on another thread some body wrote stating “if its not a third world county, don’t leave it” after 7 months here I now know what they mean.
I left my boy crying again this morning - this is just too much.
Thanks so much for your help everybody but I just don’t think Spain is for me.

I came back 3 months ago after 7 years.My 11 year old hated her school and wanted to go to school in the uk.Various other reasons aswell i have posted these on previous post.The uk may be in trouble but so is everywhere,at least you can be in trouble with people who speak the same language.We have all settled back in to life here my girl has never been happier.Its still hard over here but we are getting on with it and loving being back.Good luck with whatever you decide.

Oh Pepsi,  thank you so much for a bit of hope, our kids are the most important thing to us arnt they?
Could never continue to live here knowing they are so unhappy.
Glad you are loving your new life in the UK, thanks again for the boost1

It is currently a very difficult time to transition to a new culture (Santi: I can’t believe you said Spain is far behind other EU countries in terms of culture!). People move when either a) times are good or b) times are bad. Many Brits moved to Spain because times were good back home and they thought they could do better for themselves and their family by selling up and moving South. As I understand it, there are plenty of TV shows and specials trumpeting all that is good (and, these days, bad) about Spain.

The truth is that the whole world has flipped upside down for so many people. England and the US have been particularly vulnerable (financial centres) and Spain’s construction boom (reliant on financing) completely imploded (otherwise I think it wouldn’t be nearly so bad). If you’re having troubles in Spain and have the resources to go home - go home. It’s bad for some, really bad. We all know how hard it is to climb the classes, so don’t fall too far for the sake of a dream that isn’t realistic anymore. Your family is (or should be) number one. If not for them, we would have so little purpose.

Be careful out there. Cowboys stay away. Be smart.

“What you do for yourself dies with you, what you do for others is eternal.”