When I saw the section title, I had to laugh.
Has Telefonica figured out how to run a business efficiently yet or is everything still Ma?ana.

Still, at least you don’t have to whistle across valleys like they do in Gomera to communicate with each other.

What a horrific company Telefonica is. The fact that a forum should have an entire section dedicated to this inept business, shows how awful they really are!

Hi, I have recorded my best-forgotten experiences with Telefonica for posterity. In the end I got rid of them - but not without even more problems. I’m new to this forum so I hope I am not breaking the rules by giving the link but the whole story is on my blog at grumpyoldgran.com

Just to add another ‘experience’ to the Telefonica saga…

We moved to the campo (not far inland, but far enough to be considred ‘off the beaten track’ for Telefonica purposes).
At first Telefonica sent round an engineer who said it would be possible to have phone and internet service, but as there were no wires nearby, it would have to be their satellite system (which costs a lot I know, but he assured me it would be no more than the maxium standard installation fee of Eu180). 
Yet… of course you have guessed… six months passed and no action, despite denuncias etc…

4 yrs on… (and we have had two different independent providers in this time - who ‘could!’ - and much cheaper 😊
I get a phone call from Telefonica sales asking me if I would like to become a customer.

You can imaine my laughter…

Hi new here, I am a campo dweller, although not too far from the peublo.
The telephone wires go past my house on the other side of the track. from where I am sitting I can see a telegraph pole. From the top of the pole a wire connects to my house and terminates there in scotch tape.
I cannot have a landline “no numbers”

Very common story Lyric. It can be like ‘deadmans shoes’.  Although, if you push and push (and possibly even go to the Consumer office in your local town - who are very helpful with giving free advice/making sure you fill out the right forms), you could ‘possibly’ get them to put a booster/upgrade in and I ‘think’ (don’t quote me!)... that there should be extra capacity.
With some systems it is not always ‘how many lines’, but the electronic capabilites of what’s inside their box.  Do you have any other neighbours that are also having trouble getting a number? (Even better if they are Spanish 😉 

Good luck.

It seems that I am third house from the end of the line, that is two houses further up the track (Danish and English) have landline and it stops at the English house. next door the other way have a connection but only for internet, not that it matters they could have a phone if they wanted.

I have recently written to the head man in Madrid complaining - no good as yet.

1004 is a joke they just don’t understand.

Hi Lyric,
Where are you based? (Nearest village?)
There is a really helpful 1 man band outfit down here on the coast - near Marbella. soltec - look him up.
We thought we would never get a connection after our last co went bust.. but here were are - all Ok and happy.
Are there alternatives in your area?

Kind regards,
SJ

PS - Don’t hold your breath wating for a reply/response from Madrid. Although it was ‘decreed’ that it is everyones right to have a phone line (and Telefonica were fined loadsamoney for not complying), you will unfortunately (in my experience, and lots of others here), get nowhere. I sent a certified letter as per correct proceedure from Consumer office. Gues what. 4 yrs on, no reply - just that daft phone call!