I’m British. I work at sea and can move to Spain with my current job at the drop of a hat.
My girlfriend is Argentine and a Psychiatrist, she is now qualified to work in Spain but only allowed to stay there if she has a job, which she is supposed to attain generally without going there. She wants to go to Europe regardless of me.
I would have married her by now if it wasn’t for UK prenup laws. Hopefully I can marry her when the time is right rather than us both feeling forced to marry just to see each other.
In theory we should both be able to live in Spain together easily. With a little more effort she should be able to work in the UK too but Spain makes sense as a middle ground for us.
But I know moving to a new land is not easy and takes planning to get right. I have experience of being in new places alone, she doesn’t. I know how hard it is.
In particular, my work is horrendously unpredictable. This has cost me relationships in the past. But this job allows me to live in Spain on a good wage, with her getting a very good wage too. This could be the thing that ruins it for me, but I really hope it shouldn’t once we have something in place.
She has managed to get a month off around June and I’ve booked some time off in June. Now, I’m only allowed 10 days but I very expect to have time off around both after and before this period. However, this means she could be flying in alone. This is no good, I want her to feel welcomed so we looked at bringing her to London first where my folks could meet her. Alternatively, and this is where I hope you can help, I wondered if you know of a orientation guide service - the sort of thing where you arrive, someone collects you and shows you round the place. I wondered if we should rent a place for a month together…
or actually what I thought might be a good idea was to stay with other people for a month somehow… any ideas how that could work? Now, she doesn’t like house shares but I do, and I think it’s a very good idea when moving somewhere new as that social aspect is essential and just one way of many to make sure you’re settling in and making friends.
And that’s the next thing - where to go. The only thing I want is somewhere on the Atlantic coast, so I can surf -so, (in order) - Vigo, Santander, Bilbao, and everything in between (where are the biggest Brit expat communities in the north? A shame to have that attitude but in Buenos Aires I learn so much from the expats there -it was an amazing resource to give to).
Is this scouting mission really worth it if we don’t know where she can get a job though? Or it worth doing if we then find she has a job somewhere else. (the market is very different if you’re a specialist doctor)
By the way, my Spanish is at survival level now (let’s not worry about the differences between mainland and latin america just yet) - not enough for work. But the idea here is be here saving money together for our future.
I know that the most important thing when moving somewhere new is friends. This is critical. That’s something she’ll be moving away from slight- friends and family. She’s said that she can’t stand the pollution and hassle of Buenos Aires and that she has to get away from the city… but she does have some support in the city; not a lot, but some. But she has said that she intends to leave her family because of the city in any case.
The fact that she’s moving away from only a little support makes me think that Spain, given a cleaner, nicer environment, can work - we just have to make sure she’s making friends quick -so that’s what I’m focusing on. What else can you recommend to meet people? This is so important and I think everything hinges on this really. What I want to get from this holiday is to establish something to come back to, so that it’s no longer a strange country, but a country where friends are waiting for us.
So, those questions again:
- where are the biggest expat communities on the Atlantic coast(north & west)?
- what can we do in a month’s holiday to make it feel like home?
- what social things can you recommend to meet local people?
- can we get 2 separate double bed rooms in 2 separate houses close to each other, and stay over like students dating for a month? -so we can meet more people and have options.
- would renting a place for a month be an anti social idea? What about bed and breakfasts places… I have shown her Couchsurfing and she stuck her nose up… and you comment? What about HospitalityClub?
- clubs and societies… I wonder if there’s something we could do in the evenings to meet people
- volunteering for work. Perhaps she could volunteer for an organization related somehow to Psychiatry… the sort of place that takes on people sometimes… perhaps help out at a mental home for a while or somewhere like that… ideas? Kids with learning difficulties? Charities? I’m not too familiar with all this. Do you work in care or a hospital? Ideas? She’d do it I’m sure
