Hi, I am in a very similar case. My wife is Italian and I am Canadian.
I was just forwarded by a very nice guy in this forum a PDF document published by the ” Ministerio de Trabajo Y Asuntos Sociales” (Ministry of Labor and Social affairs) containing all the necessary information, rights, including the forms that you will need to fill.
Because its a 3Mb documents I can’t post in here but the name of the file is: Residencia Brochure 2007.pdf and the title of the document is Regulations governing eu citizens in Spain.
The consulate has been very useless but this documents clarified all my questions. It states that as a spouse I can live and even work in Spain by accompanying my wife. We both have to apply for residencia but we have 3 months to do so after our entry and it should be done on the local police.
Google for the document and I am sure you will find.
Best of luck