Hi there - sorry if this is a big ask?  My husband and I and our two young daughters moved to Valencia this Sept - my only experience of Spain before was 10years ago in Seville - it was an amazing time and I (wrongly) thought all of Spain was like Seville - ie friendly, easy going and a beautiful place.  We are all unhappy in Valencia and are looking to relocate in Spain - unfortunatlely our funds won’t allow us to just travel around and look so any advice would be much appreciated - we are both Tefl teachers and have been for some time so we are hoping to continue to work in this field - we are both teaching here in Valencia at present but really want to leave.  Basically we are looking for a place which would be more suitable for the children - ie being more family orientated, friendly, relaxed and possilbly more typically Spanish?  We know we want to avoid the Costa del Sol and Costa Blanca regions but are open to any other suggestions and advice - thank you to any of you who can help!! xxx

Hi, im new to this site and im looking to move to the valencia region shortly i like the area because it seems less touristy than the costas,and less expensive,and a lot greener could you please tell me what you dislike about the area,or are you talking about Valencia city itself? cheers graham.

Hi Graham - yes we are in Valencia city itself and the thing is we have two children aged 1 and a half and three years - we originally chose Valencia because it was so Spanish (and we didn’t want the Costas)- but our main problem is whilst people are friendly to you in the street or in bars etc - it’s very difficult to make friends here and be invited back to their house or even have them accept an invitation to yours - if you have no children i am sure your experience would be very different as there are lots of great places to eat and drink in the evenings - For us however another problem is that the restaurants don’t open before 9pm in the evening - so although we love the fact that we can take our children out with us 9pm is still a bit too late to start going out with them - what we really need is the restaurants to open about 6pm or 7pm.  There are of course some tapas bars here but nowhere near the tapas culture we expected compared with say somewhere like Sevilla - we had visions of the Spanish here being so child friendly and welcoming us with open arms - so to speak - infact the only friends we have made are from other areas not Valencia itself- we have made friends with Spanish from both the north , south and Madrid but not here - Also the Spanish here tend to be a lot more serious than you might expect and definitely not as easy going as in Andalucia- the thing is tho it has been 10 years since i was in Sevilla and I didn’t have children then - so perhaps I am looking back at things with slightly rose coloured glasses?  I definitely don’t want to put you off this area - it’s just that it’s not as friendly or cosmopolitan as you may expect - it is also quite industrial and not perhaps as beautiful as other areas - you have the odd gorgeous building but it is sandwiched in next to awful 60’s 70’s style high rises - even the old city which has some stunning buildings is unfortunately surrounded by building works or ugly apartment blocks? Think I may be starting to waffle on now?  Hope this may have helped a bit? Wish you all the best with the move but one thing i would say if you have time then def really look into where you choose to go - looking back I don’t think we did enough research on this place and kind of got swept away by the moment - good luck Sara

Hmm, if I might chime in here…

My experience in Valencia was surprisingly similar, here in Barcelona too at times. People just aren’t as friendly and outgoing, but the Spaniards might attribute that to the fact that the people are Catalans, not Spanish in the true sense. It’s debateable of course, but that’s what they say, even if Valencia is certainly more Spanish than Catalan from outward appearances.

Andalucia is still Andalucia, albiet things have changed a lot in 10 years. Seville still maintains a friendly reputation however, so maybe you should check it out again. There’s also Cordoba or Toledo or Granada, all having well deserved friendly reputations and that southern Spanish charm. The Catalans will tell you that the Andalucian nature is rather fake and superficial however, so there’s your counterpoint. The Basque people seem to be genuinely friendly and an interesting people to boot (with a reputation among Spaniards equally so). I haven’t yet been there, just had a few Basque friends: all great people.

In the off season you can get great cheap hotels, say 30 euro/night or less for a very decent place, so maybe consider jumping around for a couple weekends while you have time to decide.

As for restaurants opening at 7pm… try Madrid and Barcelona or pehaps some of the uber-touristy Costas… to be otherwise it wouldn’t be Spain. Perhaps talk to some people around here about how they manage dinner for their family considering the restaurants’ horario situation.

Hi there - thanks for you reply and the info - it’s funny but most people we’ve spoken to have said similar things - including how lovely the north and its people are - def appreciate your ideas about hopping about for the weekends when things are a bit cheaper -think we’re just going to try to make a go of it here but also keep our options open at the same time - thanks again Sara

hiya - I know what you mean about making friends, we have made a few who have turned out to be ummm odd and not the kind of people you could actually call friends - and in our area (Gandia) so many families have gone back to England in the past couple of years. I keep thinking its a language thing and if I was fluent then I would be able to make some Spanish friends but then I don’t know. We also have the issue of Valenciano !!!! which is a whole different story - Its so hard and I really miss my friends in England. Its a difficult decision when you move over here in choosing an area only to find its not quite right - good luck whatever you decide to do

Hi and thanks for your message - it kinda helps a bit to realise that we’re not the only ones having these experiences!!

Yeah, it does help to know others experience the same things! That whole culture shock hits first, and then later there’s the estrangement… depends of course. There are definitely some weird expats out there though!

The Valenciano thing wasn’t so much of an issue when I was in Valencia, I even tried speaking a little Catalan (which is nearly the same thing) but the people didn’t really respond to it. I dunno…

Getting fluent with the spanish DOES help. For me it took about two years before I would say I had some true Spanish friends, coinciding with time I started feeling comfortable conversing in Spanish (which still includes a lot of “uh, como se dice…?” 😊. Having Spanish friends helps you get comfortable and fluent though, so it’s kinda a catch 22.

Good luck!

Hi you know it’s quite funny really - you expect a culture shock going outside of Europe - But I think we naively thought europe would be fairly similar throughout - I think when in england with grey skies it’s very easy to imagine the Spanish are always friendly and happy and extremely welcoming- and of course you expect to be swept up into the bosom of their world so-to-speak - I’ve started to understand that the whole Spanish culture of having friends to one’s house doesn’t really exist here - as in the uk people are always in and out of each others houses for dinner and / or for the children to play together - whereas here it seems to be very much lets meet for a coffee or perhaps a drink and something to eat outside -this seems to be more the done thing - people’s homes seem to be reserved for family members only - and of course family being such a big thing here - they usually have so many member perhaps there really isn’t much room for friends in the home if not related somehow too- I dunno - it’s been really good to go on this site and read about other peoples ideas and experiences - I think perhaps we will rethink living our dream and perhaps save Spain as a place for the holidays - I have to say when on holiday the experience is so totally different to living in a country - that’s probably obvious to most buy hey I think we must be the type to learn the hard way!!  So thanks again for all your advice - Sara