Women’s version:
Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the
Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programmes,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
undesirable programmes such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket
3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system.
I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
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Dear Desperate
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Try entering the command:
C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME to download Tears 6.2, which should
automatically install Guilt 3.0.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But
remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
WARNING: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a
supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great programme, but it does have a
limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might
consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck, Tech Support
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Men’s version:
Dear Technical Support,
18 months ago, I upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which
I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are
apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution
was to try to run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make
matters worse Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of GirFriend proved no better.
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and
left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for
several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and GirlFriend 1.0 at the
same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each
other they caused severe damage to my hardware. I eventually upgraded
to Fianc?e 1.0, only to discover that this product had to be upgraded
further to Wife 1.0.
While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does
come bundled with FreeSxPlus and Cleanhouse 2005. Shortly after this
upgrade, however, I found Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly
to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in wife 1.0’s
memory and could not be deleted. Then they resurfaced months later
when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and
can, without warning launch TurboStrop and Multi-Winge. These latter
products have no Help Files, and I have to try to guess what the
problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly,
requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express
which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0
attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often
crashes. Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop up called
Mother-in-law, which can’t be turned off.
Recently I’ve been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could
be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife
1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all your Money before
uninstalling itself!!!!!
