Dating / Meeting women in Spain
Posted: 08 September 2008 10:38 PM  
Just Landed
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Hello…

I am curious to hear your dating stories from Spain 😊. How easy has dating been for you? Have you met lots of great women, only a few mediocre ones, etc.? Dating success and failure stories would be great to hear… as I am hoping on a good experience when I get there 😊.  Where have you met women in Spain? How has being a foreigner helped or not helped?


Mavec
P.S. I already read the Dating in Spain article so I am looking for additional comments.

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Posted: 09 September 2008 06:02 AM   [ # 1 ]  
Expatriator
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Hi,

As a woman, I find that, on the positive side, dating in Spain is lots of fun and very educational, and you do get more attention as a foreigner. It’s also a good way to improve your Spanish. 😉 On the negative side, when you’re geographically mobile, you’re not seriously looked at as life partner material. They think you might move away. And you just might.

In the last three years I dated a Catalan man, an Andalusian man, a German man, and a Irishman.

I had a language exchange with the Catalan man for several months before we then dated for almost six months. We had some fun, but he didn’t see me as long-term potential and a month-long visit of mine to the States did us in. I had a sneaking suspicion he was really looking for a Catalan girl to take back to his family in Barcelona and have a troupe of Catalan-speaking children with. But he taught me lots.

The Andalusian man responded to an ad I put on Loquo because I was looking to expand my circle of friends. The guy’s a screenwriter, so needless to say his beautiful words caught my eye! He was wildly devoted and passionate and adamant about monogamy for six months until I went to the States for a month. When I got back he decided he just wanted to be friends. Once I recovered from the shock, we did become friends and still are.

The German man and I met through Loquo and we’ve dated on and off for almost three years. We’re now off and in a few days he’s moving to the other side of the planet.

Last but not least, I met the Irishman through a friend. I had always as a rule avoided other English speakers in Spain, preferring to use English for work and Spanish for play, but he’s since taught me lots and lots, made me rethink my policy, and introduced me to expat culture (yes, I know that sounds kind of ridiculous writing this on an expat site). (Though I must admit I enjoyed the fact that the Andalusian man didn’t speak English, dating someone who is able to understand when I profess my undying love through sick attempts at modern poetry IS an advantage.) I love this man SO much and I’m terrified to think what my upcoming three-month(!) stay in California, which will then be followed by my moving to Barcelona (we both live in Madrid), will do to us!

Anyway, I’m sure you’ll have a good dating experience in Spain.

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Posted: 10 September 2008 03:03 AM   [ # 2 ]  
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Mavec, I have it on good authority that we have a couple new dating articles coming out in the next month or so. When it happens be sure to leave your feedback.

Dreamer: woah! California too? That long distance thing is definitely difficult, but possible. My gf and I got through a year of mostly being apart.
I’ve met some great Irishmen, in fact, they’re probably my fav English speakers.

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Posted: 10 September 2008 03:28 AM   [ # 3 ]  
Just Landed
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In any country I think dating a local is useful for a while but certainly not easy long term if their first language isn’t English. Due to my dislike of expat bars etc I sometimes miss being able to speak fluent English without modifying it in case I am misunderstood. I often double check with my wife just to be sure she has understood the meaning behind my words, and if she is talking heatedly/emotionally with friends or family [We don’t socialise very much] she often doesn’t even realise I am trying to speak to her as she is not automatically tuned in to English.
If communicating in English with your date, be careful not to judge them by their English language ability. I have enjoyed the company of friends who I later realised were not my type , simply because the level of their English meant they couldn’t express their exact thoughts, and their “classroom language” was more polite than their own first language use !! Neither my wife nor friends are Spanish, but I believe the basic ideas are the same.

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Posted: 10 September 2008 04:47 AM   [ # 4 ]  
Just Landed
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Hey Dreamer thanks for your openness and encouragement. Sounds like you have had some good experiences.  Hope everything works out for you 😊.

Expatriator, I look forward to the articles!

Carefreebrit… I speak Spanish and plan on using that for dating and really for everything in Spain… I have no expectations that when in a foreign country anyone should speak my native language…

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