I hope someone can read this and help me out.

I am a wonderful 23 year old female who just moved to Ibiza Spain to reunite with my father and family. I was born here in Ibiza to my American mother and Spanish father. When I was 5 years old my mother decided to leave my father and took me back to America. I grew up in San Francisco California with my mother for many years. I only visited my father at ages 9 and 11. I have for many years dreamed of coming back here to Spain and starting a life where it was taking away from me.

I decided to stop dreaming and just get the balls to move here in the beginning of 2009. I quit my job, left my boyfriend, friends, family and my little car all to come here. I have been in Ibiza since June 24 2009. I am staying with my father and his wife. I am having to learn my Spanish all over again… which is a challenge..

After being here for a month I am starting to realize how absolutely lonely and depressed I am. As beautiful this Island is and its attractive beaches and night life… When you have no one to share it with it seems all soo pointless. I am waiting on my paper work so I can get my spanish passport and DNI so I can work… but until then I am stuck alone everyday. I have family, lots of it here, but they are all busy working and caring on with their lives.

Does anyone know a good source of making friends??? I do not like to go to the bar alone… I thought maybe I could reach out to the other expats out there in Spain and hopefully make a new friend or two.. maybe some advice on what I can do? At the moment my Spanish is very Basic… I can have conversations but only to a certain extent. 

Thank you for any ideas or thoughts out there… I would love to hear back from anyone.

Peace and Love

Sue 😊

Sue hi and welcome to the forum;

I guess you are finding out the hard way that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side…
and that the dream only remains a dream until it becomes reality.
Mind you with the way things are shaping up in the US I do think you made the right decision!

I have absolutely no advice to give unfortunately; I don’t know Ibiza at all. My wife and I moved to mainland, inland Andalucia from England some three years ago and we still struggle to make friends. We live in a little non-english-speaking village with just two other Brit couples, and we hardly ever see them socially or otherwise.

Overall we are pleased that we made the move; at times it has been hard and certainly during the first year we very nearly allowed things to get on top of us and we came close to chickening out; but then we decided what the hell.

All I can suggest at the moment is chill-out, get to know your extended family in Ibiza; are there any other girls of your age in the family group? See if you can become a part of their lives socially…don’t go making any rash decisions…I know you are possibly regretting giving up all that you did to come here

I hope it all works out for you.

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Hi,  Why don?t you kill 2 birds with 1 stone and join up for some Spanish classes.  That way you?ll get to learn the language and meet new people, most of who will probably be in the same boat as you.  Good luck!  Hope it all goes well

Hi,

I don`t no Ibiza, but I no Spaniards, well I kinda no how they think, I think.

My OH is Spanish and we lived and worked in Spain.

But my OH still leaves me stcratching my head sometimes.

Anyway my advice would be too.

Don`t take Spanish lessons in a conventional way.

The last thing you want is to make friends with fellow foreigners. You`ll alieanate yourself from your fathers family and possible your father. After all you are a relative stranger. You need to show your commited to learning about him, his family (Yours) and the culture.

Ask him if any of the family or friends can teach you English first, if not many regions collages and Universities run a Language Exchange Scheme that allows students of all language levels to meet up, usually in a bar or cafe, you then exchange languages, for free, one day you all speak English, the next you all speak Castellano. It has worked well in Madrid with many students learning very quickly.

You`ll also meet more Spaniards than if your in a class of Expats and one Spanish teacher.

Here are some links for Schemes in Spain, try to find one in Ibiza.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNbHtJQFOFY

http://www.intrades.org/articles/111/Language-Exchange-in-Spain?

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=19988858992

http://www.elmundo.es/elmundo/2006/05/09/ciudadanom/1147195860.html

http://www.abc.es/hemeroteca/historico-03-06-2007/abc/Madrid/aprender-ingles-gratis-y-en-el-pub_1633486436290.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAqCBdk6EAw

Speak to your father about how you feel, suggest a meal or gathering of people. He, if he cares will start getting you into the Spanish way.

It has to come from you, you need to push it, as far as your family are concerned, apart of your father, you are a stranger and one that they probably don`t care much for.

Give it time, visit them, take cakes always, it is hard when you cannot speak the language. Spaniards don`t realise this, for them there is no shyness, they`ve probably never lived away from Spain, so they don`t think about it.

If you make an effort you`ll be rewarded, standing around smiling in silence won`t be appriciated. Even if you make mistakes, laugh at them, they won`t judge you, they`ll like you for it.

My first Xmas meal with my fellow Spanish co workers was in a resturant, the guy I was sat next to I had worked with, he knew no English at all, but we always managed to struggle through.

He`d told me about his girlfriend some weeks before, she was goin to Paris etc etc.

So I decided to ask him how she was, but I always get my mascaline and femining rules mixed up.

So in front of everyone I asked him how his BOYFRIEND got on in Paris. I thought he was goin to hit me, the other guys were on the floor laughing so much, his face was a picture and I kept repeating it, until they explained my mistake.

They loved it, they joked for months after.

Nobody got upset and it broke a lot of barriers.

So no matter how stupid you feel, just jump right into it.

Give it time, Spaniards are as tribal as every other culture, there friendly, but even Spaniards from other regions around Spain find it hard to intergrate into close groups of strangers.

Although as a family member there usually more welcoming than you have described, but that probably down to your nationality, if you`d come from Spain it would have been easier.

But as long as you don`t start mixing to much with other foreigners you`ll be fine.

Enchufe is king in Spain, basically you get stuff by nowing others, the I`ll scratch your back, you scratch mine is very strong in Spanish Culture, ask your father if he nows of any jobs goin with any friends etc etc.

Don`t mention the word Enchufe, its more a macho “I can acheive anything, if not, I know a guy who can do it” culture. I`m sure a favour could be made to help you out and working for someone could be a good way in.

Good luck, stick with it, you`ll be fine.

Lots of useful Ibiza info here:

http://ibizaa-z.com/

my mate has lived there for 4 years quite happily and he does not speak much Spanish…...

Well first and foremost I have to tell you that I admire you. It’s not easy to leave everything to a place where you don’t know really anyone and even more when you don’t speak the language.

I moved to Rome, Italy for 5 months 2 years ago because I wanted to learn Italian. I knew not one person here and not one word of Italian, but slowly I made one, two and many friends. Once I returned home I still kept in touch with these people and actually ended up coming back to Rome after finishing college this year for 6 months (currently still here).

From personal experience I can tell you that taking Spanish classes is a great way to get settled in. Yes, you will meet only foreign students but you never know what they may bring along. The italian guy I live with now in Rome I met through an American student the first time I was living here. Also, once you have your base in Spanish, you can take other courses in Spanish.

Also, take advantage of the summer in Ibiza. I was there just 3 weeks ago with 4 friends and had so much fun. Once summer is over, keep your eyes peeled for cheap plane tickets so you can travel to the mainland.

I’m actually moving to Barcelona this October to start my Masters and will be there for 10 months. Of course I miss my friends and family so much… but no matter what happens, this is an experience that you will always remember.

Good Luck with everything. And I hope you can give it some time to get settled in.

Which part of the Island do you live ?
Have a good one
Tim

Hello Sue. I?m on Ibiza too. So now you know Tim (above) and me, so that?s two new friends on the island. It seems to me that your main problem is the language barrier. I?m sure you will pick up Spanish fairly quickly because of your situation but in the mean time it?s going to do you a lot of good to be able to have chats with English speakers. Are there any sports or hobbies you are interested in?

Have you looked for language exchange groups. I started a few when I moved to Spain(Valencia) and found it helped me meet people and learn the language. I have made english and spanish speaking friends this way.

I don’t know much about Ibiza, but isn’t it Catalan speaking?  Maybe you should be learning that language instead of, or as well as, Spanish.  As for making friends, you have to work with people and share their lives, whether the “work” is paid or not is irrelevant.  How about doing something you like in a group or club - singing in a choir, sports, dancing, whatever turns you on?  In my experience the best way to get integrated into Spanish village life is to get involved in organising the annual fiesta….

Most spanish use tuenti.com. I can send you an invite if you want. Easiest way to meet people in Spain. It?s like the spanish facebook. If you want to meet Spanish people that is.

I always thought that young women have the least problems to make friends in Spain

involved in organising the annual fiesta?.

LOL Depending on the area you live in this could be easily a full time ocupation….