trex,
your wife can register your daughter at the spanish consulate so she can get a spanish passport, at the same time she registers your marriage at the consulate. when that is done you apply for an eu relative visa and when you have that you can move and once you are settled your wife or lawyer can acompany you to get the residence card.
once you have your flat, you can get “empadronado” and with the certificado de empadronamiento, you go to the centro de salud servicing your area and apply for the tarjeta sanitaria. then you are covered by the public healthcare.
your wife can also ask the consulate if she qualifies as a returning emigrant, if she does, then she gets a minimum subsidy until she gets a job.